It was night when I kept repeating this question: is the world mundane, or am I just boring? Just like any other question, it required answers. I like how this prompt appeared because it changed my life (or at least for the past three days of my life). Yeah, I know three days isn’t enough to validate my hypothesis. But I want to celebrate these three days, and I’m too impatient to wait longer (like a year or more… I’m dying to pour out my thoughts really fast!). So if you’re like me, skeptical about the validity of my hypothesis, just enjoy this post as a personal blog or as a consideration to romanticize your life. Don’t take it seriously as a guide for living.
To answer that question, what matters most to me is that there’s no parameter to measure boredom or mundaneness. Hence, as you might guess, the answer is in our heads. My childhood was pretty colorful, I guess… I could pretend to be the heroine of the story, and every single day felt like a series of feelings, tastes, and flavors (Monday tasted like fried rice in hurried hours, Friday felt like a rainbow after an evening rain, etc. I can’t really remember the details). But everything changed since… idk, puberty? My mind became clearer, and my sanity increased over time. Now, as an adult who is soon to be 26, I see things very differently from my past. My concerns, humor, and vibes have changed. I don’t laugh over a random flower stuck on my clothes anymore, and I don’t feel sad when I see the sad expression on my favorite candy’s packaging (strawberry kiss from Yupi). The world is still the same, but my perspective isn’t.
Is this a bad thing? No, not really. I’m sorry, my childhood self, the tiny winnie mini version of me. As much as I love you, I have to let you go. I’m a grown-up now. I might miss our memories and the rose-colored glasses I used to wear, but I must accept that nothing lasts forever. The world feels mundane because I feel less attached to everything. But going back isn’t a solution. My mind led me to understand that the world feels mundane because I feel less attached to things around me. I can still embrace my adulthood and leave the mundane world at the same time if I feel connected to things around me. I want to get a clear idea of the dream girl I want to be, the charisma and vibe I exude, and my authenticity… the things that make me comfortable with myself.
So I did some things over the past three days. I cleared up my Pinterest account, tidied it up, and arranged it as Zenith-like as possible. I opened my Spotify account and did the same with my playlists. I planned to draw a lot to light up my room. I want to treat my days as something flavorful. I divided days by mood; for example, Friday is the day of reflection. Its flower is chamomile, its color is garden green, and the note for the day is to stay hydrated. You might think, “Arrrgh, too many rules. Not efficient and doesn’t even sound interesting.” But let me tell you about the first two points; it’s not about rules or freedom, nor about efficiency. It’s about me appreciating my day. It feels like rules, sure, but it helps me appreciate the 24 hours I have to stay focused and be the dream girl I want to be.
It sounds like a fairy tale, and I don’t blame you if you think so. It kind of sounds like a fairy tale to me too. But little by little, I can feel that this world is beautiful and not mundane at all. I might be boring, but I know how to treat myself to stay active and loving. And what makes our life interesting isn’t about how much money you earn or spend, not even about the achievements you have, or the social status you show. It’s about the compassion you give to yourself, how content you are with yourself. It’s about celebrating and appreciating each milestone you’ve been through.
So, is the world mundane, or am I just boring? I’d say that I refuse to answer. I don’t want to choose between the two; I want to create an alternative: the world is beautiful.
